The long walk

 

 

She walks slowly but surely knowing the direction in which she is going yet not sure that she is ready to retrace this path. It has been a year since she trod this long sad pathway but she feels that she must return to see the place where she had to leave him. Her heart is heavy with dread and her eyes are damp from heavy teardrops that threaten to drench her face, yet she holds her head toward the sky and trudges slowly on. She glances at the others who are there also and wonders if they are feeling the same loneliness that she feels returning here. She didn’t realize how trying this journey back here would be. As she comes to the spot where he is she feels her breath constrict and her heart slam in her chest while her eyes sting like sand has been rubbed in them. The desire to turn and run from this place and never return is so strong, yet she takes another step toward her destination. She wishes that he were here with her to hold her hand and give her the strength that she needs to go on. Just a few more steps and she looks down as she remembers the day that she brought him here. He had looked nice in the suit that she had gotten him for Easter the year before. If only she could have held him close and kissed his lips once more. She felt the scalding tears begin to flow freely now as she sank to her knees. Oh how she had hated to leave him here. She wiped at the tears and quietly spoke to him; “Do you know how much I miss you. It’s so lonely at home without you. I feel so lost when I wake up in the mornings and you’re not there to hold me. I just wish I could see you smile at me the way you used to and tell me that everything is going to be alright. I need you to tell me how I’m supposed to go on without you. I love you and I miss you so very much.” She slowly got to her feet and placed the flowers in the vase on the tombstone and walked away.