Think a moment about what it means to us when we say “I love chocolate ice cream or pizza or hot soup on a cold day or maybe a cold glass of lemonade on a hot afternoon.” Maybe it just means that this particular thing brings us great pleasure and satisfies something in us and the thought of this thing makes us happy and causes a slight longing to have that again to bring that same feeling of pleasure once again. Don’t you agree?
And when we say we love our pet, such as when I tell Pug and Jasper that I love them – whatever could we mean in this instance. Of course it can’t be the same as taking that bite of sweet creamy ice cream or sipping that cold soothing drink, so what could it be? What is it that they can do that would bring the same feelings of pleasure that you feel from having the desired thing. Maybe it is the way they look at you with those eyes of trust and adoration – telling you without words “I love you and I want to be with you wherever you are.” Maybe that feeling of being needed is what causes that flood of love we feel for them.
Now think of the love we have for our family – which includes our parents and children. Why do we love our parents and seek their approval even after we are grown adults? We love them first because we are bound to them through a physical connection in that we have the same blood line running through our veins, but we also form a lasting unbreakable bond in our childhood years as they show their love and concern for our well being. Knowing they have chosen to take care of us and try to give us the best things that they can provide for us. There is an automatic devotion as well as a learned devotion. We want to please them because they have wanted to give us the best. And from this we move to the children we have of our own. Can you now understand the love our parents had for us? That feeling of pride you feel when you look down into the face of this wonderful being that you have created. Your heart swells with this great affection and desire to be the best you can be to take care of them and give them all that you can. The bloodline connection now is even stronger in knowing that you have something that is exclusively yours. And when they look up at you with that adoration and trust in their eyes, you think “how wonderful this feeling is”. You hate to think that someday they may not look at you the same way.
But tell me – what do you think is that ultimate, unforgettable love? Do you know how it feels to love with all of your heart and soul – to love someone with a selfless love? Is it even possible to love someone that way? Our reason for loving is to be loved in return isn’t it? So can we continue to love someone who cannot return the same affection?
As husbands and wives don’t we always expect them to try to make us happy? Don’t we most times think that if they claim to love us they will put our feelings first and do their best to please us? But is that fair to them? Are we expecting too much? In my marriage I regretfully think I may have put this unattainable responsibility on him.
But what is that wonderfully joyous love that we all long to experience? Isn’t it that feeling of being adored and cherished without any expectations? Don’t we want to feel special and wanted for who we are, not what we can do for the other person? Can we love without wanting to possess or bind up? We love and then want to cling to that person to always feel that love again and again, but what happens when we hold too tightly? Maybe we crush the spirit of the one we love and slowly kill that specialness that once was there. Can we love someone and still allow them to be free – not holding on to them, just waiting and enjoying the brief moments that we are allowed to share with them?
No comments:
Post a Comment